


Finding Balance

by thedropoutandthejunkie (elenajames)



Series: A Firm Hand [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Addict Sam, Demon Blood Addiction, Detox, Dom/sub, M/M, Nonsexual Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 15:04:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8582962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elenajames/pseuds/thedropoutandthejunkie
Summary: Dean finds out about what Bobby's been doing with - to? - his brother.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually set between "A Firm Hand" and "Tough Love". Series will eventually be reordered to reflect this.

Sam aches a little to see Dean go, the wrongness of the Impala pulling out of Bobby’s driveway always sitting badly with him, but he knows that’s how it has to be, for now. He isn’t ready to give up the security of Bobby and their arrangement, and he isn’t ready to test his own willpower against addiction. Of course, they’ve both danced around the topic of telling Dean truth, but agreed that now is not the time. 

 

“You’ll get there, Sam,” Bobby says quietly. “Just give yourself time.” He heads back inside, leaving Sam on the porch for just a moment before the loneliness gets to be too much. Bobby doesn’t say anything when Sam comes to find him, dropping his cushion next to the older man’s chair in the library and settling on his knees. Sam can’t hold in the soft sigh of relief when a heavy hand settles in his hair.

 

* * *

 

They get comfortable, maybe too comfortable. Dean hits a streak of jobs and stays out on the road with Garth, chasing monsters through Appalachia. He calls now and again, to let Sam and Bobby know he’s alive, to get info to help keep them both alive. Something inside Sam feels warm when he hears Dean’s voice, revved up on the thrill of good hunts, and he’s always smiling when he gets off the phone with his brother. 

 

He isn’t smiling when Dean drops in unexpectedly. There’s no time for Sam to scramble up off the floor, too lost in his headspace to move quickly before Dean bangs the front door open. His eyes land on Sam immediately, the cushion he kneels on and general proximity, eyes going dark. 

 

“Sammy? What’s goin’ on here?” 

 

“Dean.” Sam almost feels like he’s slurring, words not coming when he wants them. It’s making him shaky, trying to yank himself out of subspace, and Bobby’s there in an instant, hand heavy and warm on Sam’s shoulder. 

 

“Sam,” Dean barks, and Sam knows that look. 

 

“I’m okay. C-can you just give me a minute?” 

 

Dean grits his teeth but nods, keeping an eye on his brother as best he can as he heads for the kitchen. With Bobby’s help, Sam fumbles to his feet, and gets instantly wrapped up in the older man’s arms.

 

“You did good, son. You alright?” It takes a few minutes for Sam to really stop trembling, but he manages, surreptitiously wiping his tears away as he nods and pulls back. “C’mon. Guess we’ve got some explaining to do.” 

 

* * *

 

“I trusted you!” Sam flinches at the first words out of Dean’s mouth as soon as he and Bobby are done speaking, dropping his eyes to the table to avoid his brother’s gaze.    
  
“You did. And Sam’s well, ain’t he? Demon-blood free and all.” There’s challenge and more than a bit of anger in Bobby’s tone. It’s enough to make Dean go silent, and Sam risks a glance up.    
  
Sure enough, Dean’s looking at him, so Sam drops his gaze back down.    
  
“Sammy?” Soft plea, so Sam looks up to find  anger and confusion and heartbreak shifting through Dean’s expression in turns. “You tell me right now Sam. Did he hurt you? Christ, Sam, did he touch you?”    
  
“Don’t be stupid.” Sam can’t bite back the words, and he feels his cheeks heat. It’s hard to fight the instinct to look at Bobby in apology for being rude, but he manages. “I might be a - a fucking junkie, Dean, but I can still fight. Bobby didn’t … well, I can’t say he didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to, but-”    
  
“Jesus, Sam-”    
  
“-But,” Sam continues louder, talking over his brother’s renewed sputtering, “he was just doing what he thought would work. And he was right. It did. It’s … exactly what I needed, what I need, Dean. And if you can’t handle it then I-I don’t think I can go with you. Not right now.”    
  
That, at least, is enough to get Dean to really look at Sam. He’s shocked, sure, and a little scared but hell. Sam can’t blame him for that.    
  
“I know it’s a lot to ask. I want to be back on the road, Dean, I do, but I can only do it if you’re willing to help me.”    
  
Dean’s gaze shifts between them, calculating. Sam keeps his head up, only glancing nervously at Bobby once while his brother thinks.    
  
“Tell me, then. Tell me what you need, Sammy,” Dean finally murmurs.    
  
Sam moves just enough to touch his bare toes against Bobby’s work boots, but the feel of work-worn leather beneath his skin is enough to help him settle.    
  
“Okay. You have to be honest with me, though, Dean. If you think you can’t handle it. Deal?”    
  
Dean looks deadly serious, leaning forward to make it clear that Sam has his full attention.    
  
“Deal.”


End file.
